WHEN WORDS HURT: How to heal from hurtful words
Psychologists have found that memories of painful emotional experiences linger far longer than those involving physical pain. That is why you may find it difficult to forget some words that were said to you. A Yoruba adage says;”the tongue is boneless but it is the strongest”. Words are powerful. You can’t underestimate words.
While researching for this blog post, I found an old adage and I believe it is one of those words our forefathers must have deceived themselves with; “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt”. You will agree with me that that’s not true, words hurt, words hurt deeply.
I have heard some words that pushed me to become a better me and I have suffered from words that weighed me down for days like burdens, Words are delicate yet stronger than hammer, they can break any heart. A word said cannot be unsaid. How then can we deal with hurtful words? These tips worked for me and I hope you find them helpful too.
HOW TO HEAL FROM HURTFUL WORDS:
- Dissect those words:
This is different from meditating on those words. A true analysis of those words will help you to know if the words have an iota of truth in them. Sometimes, it’s not about you, it’s about the person who spoke to you wrongly. So evaluate. If you find out you are wrong in any way, accept responsibility, work on yourself and trust God to help you.
Forgive yourself and the person that said those hurtful words, forgiveness doesn’t mean the scar won’t be there but it means you no longer shoulder the burden of proving anything to whosoever spoke the words. Like someone said, Jesus still had the scar from the nails even when he had forgiven His prosecutors.
If you find out it was because of something you did wrong earlier, forgive yourself still. We are humans and we make mistakes at times.
3. Love yourself:
Someone once said nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission, and that is true. Have a good opinion about who you are. There is no better way to see yourself than the way God sees you. Regardless of your past, you are loved, you are His beloved and you are precious. Decide to love yourself, love your body. You owe yourself that duty.
4. Talk about it
In the process of healing, you may have to tell the person involved how hurtful those words were. It will surprise you that the person may not know. We see things differently but pass your message across in the most polite way possible. Some people joke with hurtful words, let such people know you don’t find those words funny. Speak up! You may have to talk to someone who can encourage you. Speak up to heal up. Don’t die in silence.
5. Pray, pour out your heart to God:
This point is key for me. It is my succor. My place of strength. Sometimes last year, I had to deal with this situation, I know how it feels but going into my closet to pray was very helpful because for each time I talked to God about it, I felt at peace and I was able to handle the situation from there.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matt.11:28
6.Go to your word bank:
Yeah, just as we have savings account for rainy days, have a word bank. In this part of the world, we have the tendency to tell people how much they mean to us only on their birthdays but it shouldn’t be. We need to change(smiles). Let’s get back on track- Be on the look out for those good things you have heard about yourself, save up those words, you will need them in your low moments.
If you checked my archive, you will be surprised to see screenshots of kind words I got on my birthdays, I keep them intentionally, not for complacency but just as words hurt, words lift too.
7. Speak to others as you would love to be spoken to:
A word spoken in due season is beautiful. Sow the right words. Although, it doesn’t mean you won’t still be hurt by words but you would have contributed to lifting others up. Imagine calling your friends to tell them you love them even when you don’t know they need those words badly? Don’t hoard seasoned words, deal with others with love and grace.
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Eph. 4:29“
Have you ever been hurt with words before? How did you handle it?
Kindly share with us in the comment section. Thanks for reading. You are the real deal❤❤❤