Hey lovers, it’s been a while since we had this ‘love packed’ kind of interview. 2020 has been a special year in every sense of the word. The good part is that, God is crowning this year with goodness and so many celebrations are coming up. For this, I am excited. Guess what? I have about 2 weddings to attend in December and I am getting ready to rock the party. ‘Awa Owambe geng.’ (smiles) Yeah, so this weekend is all about the Abioduns, LOJ 2020 (Lightening, Ornament & Jewels).
The bride and the groom both bear the same name. Interesting, right? God knew ahead (laughs). Abiodun Olowolafe Esq. (the bride) is a colleague and friend of mine and I am happy to be sharing in her joy. Beloveds, take a bottle of drink, relax and let’s meet the bride.
TemidayoRiches: Can we meet you?
Bride: I am Olowolafe Abiodun Oluwasefunmi. I was born on 24th of December. I’m the second child of my family and I’m the only girl. I am a Christian and ardent follower of Christ. I am a legal practitioner but don’t intend practicing for long. I have my passion for ministerial work, planning and organizing events and training younger generations on leadership.
TemidayoRiches: Wow, that’ great! Can you tell us how you met your fiancé?
Bride: (Smiles) we meet about 10 years ago in a campus fellowship meeting. I was a pre-dite (pre degree student) then, while he was in part 2 (OAU), as a Direct Entry student studying Accounting. Our relationship then was only as fellowship members, nothing more. In fact, we were not close at all and there was no physical attractions. We were both passionately serving God in the fellowship.
TemidayoRiches: That’s interesting.
Eh. This passionately serving God thing has been working like magic for years o
Bride: (Laughs)…well, that’s true.
TemidayoRiches: So he knew all along. When did he finally speak up?
Bride: (Laughs) He first asked me out in 2013, he had just concluded his NYSC program while I was in part 3 but his lines looked like a rap song to me because, helloo!!, I didn’t really know him asides fellowship stuff, I wasn’t physically attracted to him and all through his days on campus, he never made such move towards me neither did we have any conversation in that regard. I was just a fellowship sister and he was a ‘bro’. So, I declined his proposal but he never gave up.
We lost contact for about two years and I changed lines about three times, not intentionally though. He miraculous got my line from somewhere I don’t know and he popped the question again. This time around, he sounded more serious than he did the first time, but I wasn’t just ready for any relationship at the time. I wanted my studies and Christ alone, not even friendship with other females.
TemidayoRiches: Aww. What brothers go through in this ‘laif’
Hmm. God’s time isn’t our time, we just have to be sensitive but eh, he was patient and persistent o.
Bride: Yeah, so he proposed again in 2015 and sounded very serious this time around with his confirmations. However, I told him he would have to exercise so much patient as I have to pray about it to get my own confirmations. But the truth is, I wasn’t even ready to pray about it, I didn’t want a relationship drama at all, and above that, I didn’t have any feelings for him. So, I kept ignoring his call and I was very cold towards our conversations.
But He won’t give up, He was such a bully (laugh).
TemidayoRiches: (Laughs), the violent taketh it by force
Bride: Fast forward to 2016, something interesting happened, sometime in May that year, I was going through some personal challenges and I was trying to figure out how to cope with the whole situation and also planning to tell “our Oga suitor” to leave me alone and not to ever bother my life again, this will be expressed via a text message and I will block his line forever, even though I hadn’t prayed about him to at least know what God was saying. I guess I just didn’t care, I didn’t like him anyways.
TemidayoRiches: Wow. You almost blocked him. This is interesting
Bride: After I finished typing the message, I showed the text to my campus fellowship president at that time, Pastor Seun Olojede Johnson of blessed memory. He was shocked at my choice of words and the tone of the message wasn’t palatable at all. He knew I was very angry, and obviously didn’t like this guy at all. Pastor Seun’s words of advice to me really helped salvage the situation.
Firstly, he said, “it’s so wrong to send this kind of text to someone who has not offended you in any way but had only expressed his deepest feelings, Sis Biodun, it is very wrong”.
Secondly, he asked me a very good question, “Have you prayed about him?”
My reply was in the negative and I didn’t like the fact that I still had to retain him in my life by still trying to pray about him. I just wanted to lay him off once and for all.
TemidayoRiches: Hmm. Thank God Pastor Seun intervened. Like the saying goes, it is better not to respond when you are angry
Bride: A week after, I was alone in the house (fellowship house) for about 3 days, so I felt it was a good opportunity to pray and have a short retreat, I wanted to pray about the challenges I was facing at the moment, I just wanted to pour out my heart to God. The second day of the retreat was awesome, then, I was feeling so relieved and I was receiving some instructions as to what to do next and suddenly, the Spirit of the Lord prompted me to deliberately pray about Abiodun Ojon, my wonderful fiancé.
I felt my sweet fellowship with God just got interrupted, but I summoned the courage to listen to the Holy Spirit. The prayer lasted about 1-2 hours, just praying about him. One notable thing that happened was that I felt so much peace within me even though there wasn’t any physical basis for it but I received no definite words about him yet.
To cut the story short, my attitude towards our conversation changed a bit after the retreat, I improved from giving a one word answer to his questions and didn’t take too long to respond to his texts. But there still wasn’t any physical attraction to him at all. But one amazing thing is, we tend to flow more when I looked beyond the physical attractions to knowing the person he really his.
TemidayoRiches: Mr Abiodun must have been so excited at the progress. I can only imagine
Bride: That’s true. Fast forward to June, this time I was preparing for a test or so, I can’t really recall now but I wasn’t really used to my phone, so we weren’t talking too often. But right within me, I was still praying for confirmations about him, I needed to be sure.
READ ALSO: SURVIVING SINGLEHOOD
On the 6th of June 2016 about some minutes past 2 a.m in the middle of the night, I heard God say “I know the thought I have towards you, they are of good and not of evil to give you a future and a hope”. I understood those words referred to my relationship with Abiodun Ojon. To avoid beating around the bush, I gave my Yes to Mr. Abiodun Ojon that very day, June 6, 2016. That’s about 5 years ago.
TemidayoRiches: Wow. I must say your story is a beautiful one. I enjoyed every bit of it. 5 beautiful years of courtship, did you face any challenges during that period of courtship?
READ ALSO: NAKED AND NOT ASHAMED
Bride: Basically and without mincing words, distance was chiefly the major challenge, seeing from where both of us resides (Lagos and Ekiti respectively). Understanding individual temperament would have been easier if there is closeness in proximity.
TemidayoRiches: Hmm, so how were you able to handle it?
Bride: We were able to mend such perceived differences via phone calls and WhatsApp calls and chats as those were the veritable medium through which we can communicate. It was really tough and I won’t advise intending couples to go through a long distance relationship without learning good communication skills.
TemidayoRiches: That’s insightful, the importance of a good communication skill cannot be overemphasized.
Was there any unforgettable moment in your courtship?
Bride: There has been so many unforgettable moments since we started courting but the one that is still very fresh on my mind was a nostalgic feeling which am still reveling. We both agreed to go to the cinema for the first time to see a movie, Assassins creed, and honestly, it was an amazing and unbelievable moment and I still long for such moment going forward.
TemidayoRiches:Courtship can be filled with Holy Ghost fun. That’s so sweet. I am blushing on your behalf (laughs).
We all know that as Christians, we have boundaries and limits that we shouldn’t cross during courtship even though many people find it difficult to draw the line between what’s is godly and what’s not. I will like to ask, how were you able to express love to each other during courtship?
READ ALSO: WHY “NO” TO PRE-MARITAL SEX?
Bride: Well, we achieved this by learning each other’s love languages. I love communication and act of service so much and I love to be encouraged anytime I do anything right. On my fiancé’s part, he loves good food, act of service and been cared for. It took a while to learn these things and we are still learning.
TemidayoRiches: I love that. Understanding one’s partner’s love language is key.
(Gary Chapman did a great job in his book, 5 love languages. Excerpts are available at www.fivelovelanguages.com.)
Advice to singles out there?
Bride: Hmm. firstly, please do not rule out spiritual guidance in your search for who to marry. By saying that, I mean you must be spiritually sound before looking out for a life time companion, this can never become archaic nor overemphasized.
Secondly, maturity is key in a relationship, ensure you improve on yourself at every given opportunity, get busy loving God, loving yourself, improving on your skills and talents and fulfilling your dreams. The right person will come and stay because they won’t be able to get enough of you. Thanks a lot.
TemidayoRiches: Wow. Thanks so much for your time, Abiodun. It’s been an awesome time with you. I’m excited for you. Your home is blessed of the Lord. Congratulations, dear
Bride: Thanks for having me, Temidayo. The pleasure is mine.
Dear Reader, thank for joining me, I hope you enjoyed every bit of the interview like I did. You can send me an email @ firstname.lastname@example.org if you will love to share your love story with us and if you are still trusting God on this matter, relax, God is coming through for you soon and I’ll be here to share your story. Keep holding on. God got you. Till I come your way next time, subscribe and stay tuned. You are loved.