Life Issues

WHEN WORDS HURT: How to heal from hurtful words

Psychologists have found that memories of painful emotional experiences linger far longer than those involving physical pain. That is why you may find it difficult to forget some words that were said to you. A Yoruba adage says;”the tongue is boneless but it is the strongest”. Words are powerful. You can’t underestimate words.

While researching for this blog post, I found an old adage and I believe it is one of those words our forefathers must have deceived themselves with; “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt”. You will agree with me that that’s not true, words hurt, words hurt deeply.

I have heard some words that pushed me to become a better me and I have suffered from words that weighed me down for days like burdens, Words are delicate yet stronger than hammer, they can break any heart. A word said cannot be unsaid. How then can we deal with hurtful words? These tips worked for me and I hope you find them helpful too.


  1. Dissect those words:

This is different from meditating on those words. A true analysis of those words will help you to know if the words have an iota of truth in them. Sometimes, it’s not about you, it’s about the person who spoke to you wrongly. So evaluate. If you find out you are wrong in any way, accept responsibility, work on yourself and trust God to help you.

2. Forgive:

Forgive yourself and the person that said those hurtful words, forgiveness doesn’t mean the scar won’t be there but it means you no longer shoulder the burden of proving anything to whosoever spoke the words. Like someone said, Jesus still had the scar from the nails even when he had forgiven His prosecutors.
If you find out it was because of something you did wrong earlier, forgive yourself still. We are humans and we make mistakes at times.

3. Love yourself:

Someone once said nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission, and that is true. Have a good opinion about who you are. There is no better way to see yourself than the way God sees you. Regardless of your past, you are loved, you are His beloved and you are precious. Decide to love yourself, love your body. You owe yourself that duty.

4. Talk about it

In the process of healing, you may have to tell the person involved how hurtful those words were. It will surprise you that the person may not know. We see things differently but pass your message across in the most polite way possible. Some people joke with hurtful words, let such people know you don’t find those words funny. Speak up! You may have to talk to someone who can encourage you. Speak up to heal up. Don’t die in silence.

5. Pray, pour out your heart to God:

This point is key for me. It is my succor. My place of strength. Sometimes last year, I had to deal with this situation, I know how it feels but going into my closet to pray was very helpful because for each time I talked to God about it, I felt at peace and I was able to handle the situation from there.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matt.11:28

6.Go to your word bank:

Yeah, just as we have savings account for rainy days, have a word bank. In this part of the world, we have the tendency to tell people how much they mean to us only on their birthdays but it shouldn’t be. We need to change(smiles). Let’s get back on track- Be on the look out for those good things you have heard about yourself, save up those words, you will need them in your low moments.

If you checked my archive, you will be surprised to see screenshots of kind words I got on my birthdays, I keep them intentionally, not for complacency but just as words hurt, words lift too.

7. Speak to others as you would love to be spoken to:

A word spoken in due season is beautiful. Sow the right words. Although, it doesn’t mean you won’t still be hurt by words but you would have contributed to lifting others up. Imagine calling your friends to tell them you love them even when you don’t know they need those words badly? Don’t hoard seasoned words, deal with others with love and grace.

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Eph. 4:29

Have you ever been hurt with words before? How did you handle it?

Kindly share with us in the comment section. Thanks for reading. You are the real deal❤❤❤


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About Author

Hello there,

I am Bolanle Temidayo Ogunleye, a Lawyer, a Christian Blogger and an author of two Amazon bestsellers- Love Beyond Words and Priceless.

Some of my readers know me by my pen name-TemidayoRiches.

I love writing. My writings will inspire you towards a closer walk with God.

Stay glued as I inspire you to live your best life.

Thank you!

(12) Comments

  1. Agyshw says:

    I really don’t care about what people think of me so, I usually don’t get hurt by their words. But it does hurt when those words come from people that are dear to me.
    I must commend that this post is Top notch and very explicit.

    1. Thanks, dear❤

  2. Bukola says:

    Am really hurt when people say hurtful words to me. I deal with it first by looking at myself in the mirror of that word. If it’s true I change and I go to God for consolation. Thanks for sharing your thought.

    1. Thanks for reading, ma
      We must always go back to the Word, that is where we see ourselves correctly

  3. Taiwo Grace says:

    I’ve been there many times too and to be frank, words can really hurt and weigh one down if not dealt with. Thanks @ TemidayoRiches for sharing these great secrets. More grace!

    1. Amen. Thanks so much, ma
      I’m glad you found this useful.

  4. Temidayo Akeredolu says:

    I wrote a piece 4 years ago about words spoken and not spoken. The rage of our words when bottled.
    I have now realised that instead of bottling those words or pouring the words into another person, take it back to God. Nothing hurts in God.

    1. Nothing hurts in God. You’re very right, Sir.
      Thanks for reading.

  5. Words matter, they can really hurt. Holding on to the conviction of a glorious life helps.
    And an understanding of the fact that, naturally, men tend to be fickle would help too. John 2: 23-24. Acts 28:4-6.
    Thanks for linking to PRINCIOLOGY.COM.

    1. You are very right, brother.
      Men can be fickle
      Thanks for reading.

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