Wings of Healing (Chapter 8)

Banji

Read Chapter 7 here: Wings of Healing (Chapter 7)

I must like eating crow. I had found myself watching the televangelist again. I had made up my mind after the last time I’d listened to his judgmental preaching that I wasn’t going to listen to him again, but I had tuned to the station almost subconsciously once more.

This time around, he was preaching on a topic he had titled ‘The purpose of life,’ and he was analyzing different lifestyles as he sought to explain how Man could not be independent of God.

“Man likes to be independent, and I’ll be the first to put up my hand that I was like that, too,” he said, and many people in the congregation laughed. “But there comes a time when you realize those things you’ve tried to fill your life with are not enough. Then you begin to wonder what life is all about.”

He seemed to be looking straight at me, but I knew it was because he was looking into the camera.

“We realize that there’s got to be more meaning than what we’ve experienced. Something that would give us that inner peace we crave without even realizing we’re craving it.”

As usual, his words were hitting home even though I was trying to brush them away. Why couldn’t he just preach nice messages about God’s love, I muttered. No one wanted to have to reflect too much on their lives the way the pastor seemed to want his listeners to do.

But the congregation was a large one, and they were listening to him with rapt attention, too. They must like eating crow like me, I thought to myself cynically.

“That peace you crave for can only come from God.” he continued.

I’m at peace, aren’t I? The news that Matrix Construction had won the contract to build the headquarters of the bank we had bid for had come in that morning, and I had been in very good spirits. It was good news, but we’d had such contracts in the past, and the thrill had started to wear off before the end of the day.

“You need a relationship with God to find that peace you need. Once you accept His love offer, then you can begin the journey towards your purpose.”

I didn’t like the pastor’s words. I wasn’t even sure I understood them, but I knew I didn’t really have that inner peace he was talking about. I knew because I had seen it in the lives of those around me.

My parents’ marriage had been far from perfect, but all through those tumultuous times, there had been an inner peace within my mother that I was aware had marveled my father. I had also admired the way she had been able to hold herself together and keep a clear head despite my father’s several failings.

Could I experience that peace, too, or was I too far gone?

“This is such a lovely dress.”

Sophie’s voice interrupted my thoughts as she walked into the sitting room in my suite. I had left her engrossed in her favorite soap which had been showing on the TV in the bedroom.

She smiled as she held up the blush-colored dress I had gotten for Denola in her arms.

“This dress is to die for, and of course it’s a Balenciaga,” She made a face and puckered her lips at me reproachfully. “But it’s one size bigger than mine, honey. Thought you knew my size?”

“It’s for Denola. It’s her birthday soon, and I always get a gift for Zara to give to her.”

“Oh.” Sophie’s voice was flat as she dropped the dress on the sofa. “I wouldn’t have minded something like that, though,” she said in a petulant voice as she eyed the dress.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I could have helped you shop, you know,” she said as she sat beside me and draped an arm around me. “You know how much this girl likes to shop.”

“I do.” My mind went to Denola as I wondered if her fiancé would mind me shopping for her in the future. I wasn’t technically shopping for her, though. Just buying stuff for her on behalf of Zara.

“So remember this girl will be happy to help you out next time,” Sophie said as she trailed a finger over my arm. “Don’t I just love these muscles. You’re really something, you know that?” She winked at me.

“I’m flattered you think so,” I replied while gazing at her pretty face. She was really something, too, but why did the thought of having her permanently in my life never occur to me?

She dropped a kiss on my lips, and the smell of her favorite perfume, Chance by Chanel, assailed my nostrils.

“I love you, Banji Adenle-Coker,” she whispered as she ran her fingers over my chest.

I wished I could say the same thing to her, but I’d be lying. “I’m one lucky man,” I replied as I touched her cheek.

“You are indeed.” She smiled. “What were you watching?” she asked as she turned towards the TV.

“Some preacher man.”

She scrunched her face as she looked at him. “My colleague attends that church. You should hear her go on and on about God and church.” She rolled her eyes. “But all that holy-roller stuff isn’t for me.”

“But don’t you ever wonder about the purpose of life and what life is all about?” I asked even as I snickered inwardly at myself. The question sounded strange on my lips, and it was even stranger that I was asking Sophie.

“Purpose of life?” She shook her head. “Honey, don’t go all weird on me,” she said, making a face. “That’s why I don’t listen to things like that.”

She inched closer to me, her eyes lingering on my lips.

“I’m happy, and I’m where I want to be right now.” She batted her eyes coquettishly at me as she dropped another kiss on my lips. “And that place is right here with you.”

Her words and the promise in her eyes should make me feel really good. But there was a strange sense of déjà vu about the scenario. Sophie’s words were just a different version of the same kind of words I had heard from many women, and they did nothing to assuage the void I felt deep within.

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